Barefeet were made for walking in grass, soaking in hot baths, and picking stuff up when you don't want to put forth the effort of leaning over (a family trait). Barefeet were not made for slugs. Normally I like to try and keep this blog positive. . . Things that I love. But I have to make an exception.
1) First of all slugs should watch where they are going. They shouldn't be slugging around on direct human pathways.
2) Slugs crunch when you step on their little heads. At least this one did. How is that possible?
3) When you accidentally step on a slug and smoosh it's little head off, the body just keeps on going. It's like a worm, except fatter and juicier and it's really creepy. (At this point I should have put him out of his misery, but I couldn't do it. I could hardly look at him and the thought of the squishyness that really killing him would create made me gag)
4) Plus I couldn't just put him out of his misery because I had to immediately get the guts out of my toe cracks. This is a dilemma in itself. Do you immediately reach down and remove it with your fingers, because that requires contaminating another body part? Or do you just keep the gush between your toes while you retrieve a paper towel so that you don't have to touch it with your barehands? I chose the get rid of it now, wash later method.
I'm not normally such a girly girl about bugs, but I think I have found my achilles bug heel.
So in conclusion. I don't like slug squished between my bare toes. I do have Fred Flintstone feet, but I still think my little piggies were meant for better things. Course the slug probably thought his head was meant for better things too. Sorry little slug.
Gross. That made me gag a little.
ReplyDeleteWhere was this slug?
ReplyDeleteOn the front porch. I have lots. They seem to like it there.
ReplyDeleteHilarious...your retelling of the slug massacre, that is. I'm sure it wasn't hilarious getting slug guts in your toe cracks. And, I'm really certain that Mr. Slug didn't find any hilarity in having his head detached from his slimy little body without any warning. Alas for the now departed Mr. S., I am finding immense humor in the retelling of his demise. P.S. I would have gone for the paper towel method of toe crack gunk removal.
ReplyDeleteAuntie R, you must have great inner strength and restraint to be able to even think about limping to the paper towels for slug removal. But if anyone could do it, it would be you.
ReplyDeleteNot so much great inner strength...more of a great inner aversion to having slug guts on my fingers as well as in my toe cracks. I can only handle having them on one body part at a time. Of course, like most normal people, I'd prefer not to have them on any body part. But, I do appreciate your vote of confidence in my inner strength and restraint. :-)
ReplyDelete